My potential energy is building as I sit and watch the paint dry. I have so much to give and aspire to be just a tad further down the road, but my wheels are stuck in this continuously growing puddle mud on this bumpy path. I must have made a wrong turn somewhere when I stopped to get directions. Damn! I knew I should have relied on a more prominent individual for information, instead I put my faith into a stranger along the way. Not a perfect stranger, just someone I confided in for a few moments before getting started on this voyage. I have also found that my vessel is now being piloted by some unexplainable force that is distinguishing itself as a burden.
I thought I'd be settled in by now, with my loves. Acquiring some new loves from old curiosities, bringing more enrichment into my life that is my choice. On the contrary, I am leaving my loves behind with no hope of replacing them with fresh ones. Convincing myself that it is soulful and will be worth it in the long run. Soulful it is not, but worth it in the long run, I'm sure it will be. All for the sake of saying, "Hey look, I am finished. Can I have my totally environmentally taxing certificate of entitlement please."
Some say it's always darkest before the dawn and in some cases, I am finding this to be true. I am grateful for the light I do have in my life right now and I assure you that I want that light to shine forever.